In Search of My Dreamweaver

All politics and principles notwithstanding, nothing quite gets me excited like some good weave. I don’t mean just any old beaver pelt, mind you, I’m talking about the kind of sew-in that inspires full reenactments of Beyonce videos. I want the stuff that will prompt me to perform all the choreography to “Proud Mary” at the bus stop. I want that good Kimberly Kimble ish.

Though I’ve been rocking the curly demi-fro for about 6 years now, I have always had an unnatural fascination with fake hair. Don’t get me wrong, I love my hair. Despite the urge it gives strangers to paw my tendrils and hand me free organic supermarket coupons in the street, it is my crowning glory.

Still, there is something to be said for the effective use of a store-bought coiffure. Good weave takes your hair to heights and lengths and thicknesses it could never (and probably should never) reach on its own, and seems like a fun alternative to the everyday. When done correctly, I imagine it looks and feels like a party is happening all over your scalp. For some, good weave is a way of life! I mean, just ask Patti LaBelle, Jessica Simpson, or Nicolas Cage. The right rug will set you straight.

I have been planning to get one for my next birthday for some time. Though my big B’day is not quite what you would call “coming up” (it’s in November), I have already begun the search for a suitable hair artist. I don’t want just anyone performing scalp voodoo on me! Surprisingly, my hunt for a proper stylist has turned up nothing. You would think that in a city like Washington, DC, at a school like Howard, I would be able to find a good weave man, but it’s been unexpectedly difficult.

You see, in a perfect world, I could just ask someone with a nice lace front who hooked them up, and they would give me a straight answer. Unfortunately, this is real life, and people can be so stank about it! I can’t just inquire as to where they got that shit, like it’s a jacket or some shoes. Apparently that’s "rude."

Well, you know what else is rude? Keeping secrets.

Look, we all know it's fake. By the grace of God, I have two working eyes with which I can see that your hair came out of pocket. I am asking you about it because it looks fantastic! So swallow your pride, take the compliment, and point me in the direction of your Yaki dealer, okay?

Seriously. I’m taking recommendations.

Posted by: Brittany

Photo Source/ BeyonceWorld.net