Adventures in Homework-Doing

12:54am: Drink coffee self-importantly, start my 2-page art history paper.

1:30am: As I do not typically drink caffeine, I am tweaking after one medium coffee. Though I have only typed "The work of Jean-Michel Basquiat" and my own name, I have never felt more efficient in my life. I take a break and edit my Netflix queue.

1:35am: Reread my paper. My coffee high makes my little half-sentence read like Hemingway. I am amazed at my own sheer brilliance and concise wit. Imagine self winning Pulitzer Prize, which leads me to wonder how long it will take for my hair color to grow out. You know, for the photo in the Times.

1:40am: My hair is brown--> Brown Sugar--> Wonder what happened to D'Angelo, which reminds me of cornrows in general. Space out for an undetermined amount of time.

1:58am: Realize it is almost 2am and that all I have typed is "The work of Jean-Michel Basquiat" and my own name. Consider giving up completely and just going to bed.

1:59am: Remember this is not possible, as I downed 16 oz. of coffee an hour ago. Fuck.

2:09am: After much deliberation, I add "is often considered" to my original 6 words. Relief washes over me at this addition. Real progress. Wrestle with the idea of eating a banana. Realizing that I'd have to get up to do this, I decide strongly against consumption of said banana.

2:24am: Try to start writing. For real.

2:43am: Decide to go to sleep and finish in the morning. This shit is for the birds.

Posted by: Brittany