Silver Fox of the Week: Aretha Franklin

Enough with Zac Efron and his ilk. We'll take gray at the temples, crow's feet, and soft paunches over that any day. In response to the flooding of the market by zygotes, once a week we'll give props to a sexy senior citizen.




This lady is amazing! She is the undisputed queen of soul, Aretha Franklin. Beyonce and the Grammy producers made the mistake of calling Tina Turner “the queen” and Aretha had to set them straight, on who the real queen was. Despite this small controversy, Queen Areatha gave one of the best performances of the evening. She performed a song alongside many gospel stars like Israel and New Breed, one of the Winans, and others. She looked like a yellow songbird in her dress. I was almost moved to go to church, but not quite.

Queen Aretha is always impeccably dressed and a real lady. My aunt who used to be a back up dancer for her said that she wears all her own diamonds and has a security guard just for them. Now I know she dresses rather scandalous for someone her age with that breast size, but hey, if you have big, gargantuan, ginormous boobies and you are a queen, does it really matter? Also, it is my belief that if you did not pay for your huge boobs and are famous, then you should wear stuff however low you want and show them off to anyone, even children.

I have seen her in concert and it is one of the best performances ever. She looks wonderful; her talent and stage presence is amazing. If you really look at her up close, she has the most amazing skin. I heard straight form one of her band members that the secret to her beauty is her weight. She weighs so much that her fat has smoothed out any wrinkles she might have; as a result, she has the elasticity of a ten year old! When I get older, I need to forget about wrinkle cream, Botox and Restylane. I need to get fat! I really think the world of this woman and her voice is a gift from God. That is why she is this week's Silver Fox.

Posted by: Imon
Photo courtesy of A.P.

Grammys 2008: And These Are All The Parts That Sucked

The earlier posts were all the good things about last night's Grammys broadcast, but you knew we couldn't just leave it at that! So, here are all the wack ass parts I left out:

• Fergie was trying to hard to be a real singer with that piano ballad. She just doesn't have the chops. And John Legend was her accompanist? He's just too talented for that. On a good note, Ferg looked very classy, and for once the restalyne in her face didn’t scare me shitless. Nice.


• Kid Rock performed. Enough said.


• The Beatles/ Cirque du Soleil thing was a dirty, shameless plug. It almost ruined "Day In the Life" for me forever. And as if that weren’t enough, they just had to bring out a big black woman and a gospel choir during “Let It Be,” just to drive the point home. As if the Cirque du Soleil part didn’t tip you off to how corny it was.


• Feist was actually pretty good, but waaaay too obsessed with her own indie-ness. Performing pigeon-toed on a shag carpet is a bit much, no? I also didn’t know she has serious old face! She’s too rickety to be trying to pull that cutesy act. Haul it back to Canadia with that mess. That’s right, I said Canadia!


• Cab Calloway's well-deserved lifetime award was long overdue. Shameful.


• Andrea Bocelli and Josh Groban sang well (I happen to like opera, thank you), but I’m sure it gave all of the middle-aged women in my hometown too much satisfaction. So, WACK!


• Obama video aside, sometimes I wish will.i.am would just disappear. His performance at the end of the show was pointless. He is a shitty rapper (but a great producer). He’s always just this side of coonery. And he makes me spell his name in the stupidest way possible; with punctuation and shit all in between the letters, devoid of capitalization. Are you fucking serious? Please go home with that Dr. Seuss bullshit, WILLIAM!

So that's it. There's my take on Grammys 2008. Hope it made your Monday a little more tolerable!

P.S. No, I will not be doing this for the Oscars. That shit is too boring.

Posted by: Brittany

Photo: WireImage

Grammys 2008: Herbie For The Win

I love love love that Herbie Hancock won Album of the Year! Anything that shuts Kanye’s whiny ass up for a second and puts Amy Winehouse back in her place is good by me. I’m glad there is someone around to show the young ones how it’s done. Herbie referenced Obama in his acceptance speech, so, yay! Also, I must say Mr. Hancock is looking fine! I sense a Silver Fox in his future…

Posted by: Brittany

Photo: WireImage

Grammys 2008: Fuck Nickelback!

I know rock and roll is pretty much dead, but I think I felt it wheeze last night, when Little Richard and Jerry Lee Lewis got in on some deuling piano action. Those old fogies made me forget about Fall Out Boy, Nickelback, Emo and all of the other bullshit that has killed what was once a great (black) art form. Sure, The Foo Fighters may carry the torch, but without Little Richard and Jerry Lee Lewis, Dave Grohl wouldn't exist.

Yeah, they're all super old (John Fogarty was there, too), but don’t you just know Pete Wentz wishes he could have one hundredth the soul? And all of Little Richard’s Pancake 31 prowess? By the way, Little Richard’s outfit: pure sex. I swear I heard panties drop as the stage lights hit his rhinestone collar.

Posted by: Brittany

Photo: WireImage

Grammys 2008: Alicia Keys Not Wearing Total Foolishness

Alicia Keys was really good, and she wasn’t wearing some bullshit outfit, either. Last fall, she took a liking to camel-toe creating jumpsuits (jumpsuits, wtf?), but I’m happy to see she’s outgrown that. John Mayer was there to assist on guitar, looking pretty hot, no less. I hate myself sometimes for thinking he is sexy. He smashed mouth with Jessica Simpson, but I am still not deterred. Overall, a strong performance, but I wish they had sung “Lesson Learned,” instead of "No One."

Posted by: Brittany

Photo: WireImage

Grammys 2008: Amy Winehouse Possibly Sober, With New Teefus

Amy Winehouse looked kind of nice and sounded really good during her simulcast of “You Know That I’m No Good” and “Rehab." She got a new crown or something put on that old missing tooth of hers, and her 'hive was in top form. “Rehab” was at once funnily ironic and a little sad. Actually, it looks like rehab’s working for Amy, so best of luck to her in that. It was super cute to see her cry and hug her mom after she won for Song of the Year. I would’ve done the same thing.

Posted by: Brittany

Photo: WireImage (Sorry it's so far away! It's the best one I could find.)

Grammys 2008: Jason Bateman Can Do No Wrong

Jason Bateman, my #3 future babydaddy (and a favorite of everyone here at The BFD), introduced the Foo Fighters, who were fucking awesome! I had to pick my face up off the floor afterward because they rocked it off. John Paul Jones (that's right, of Led Zep) was there, too! JB was a bit too tan and highlighted for my taste, but he is otherwise perfect, so whatever. Michael Bluth is a human beyond all humans, with virtue that no botched dye job and fake and bake can tarnish! Everyone please focus your collective energies toward an Arrested Development movie!

Posted by: Brittany

Photo: WireImage

Grammys 2008: OMFG TINA TURNER!!!

Too much fierceness for one room! Seeing Beyonce and Tina Turner together has Changed. My. Life. They are the two people I most often pretend to be while dancing alone in my room. B's hair and costume looked nice, but Tina KILLED in a silver corset and leggings. Not to mention her wig was perfection. I might have to cop one of those until I can afford my dream weave. At any rate, it always makes me smile to see real divas showing the young kids what's up. I mean, Beyonce is cool and all, but Tina Turner is truly something to aspire to. I think I know who this week's Silver Fox will be...

Posted by: Brittany

Photo: WireImage

Grammys 2008: Kanye + Daft Punk = !!!!!

Kanye was fantastic. Say what you want, the man half-asses nothing. He gave a stadium-worthy rendition of “Stronger,” with Daft Punk as a pleasant surprise. It was so cool that they came all the way to the U.S. to offer their support. His version of "Hey Mama" was heartbreaking, and a fitful tribute to his late mom, Donda. I just wish he would take off his sunglasses while inside. It’s just rude. Seriously, he was in the audience with white RayBan Wayfarers on for damn near the entire show. Kanye, you are not ugly like T-Pain, nor do you have a lazy eye. Cut it out.

Posted by: Brittany

Photo: WireImage

Grammys 2008: Rihanna Is Magic

I freaked when Jimmy Jam introduced Morris Day and the Time!!! “Jungle Love” is my shit! Believe I was doing the above dance along with them. Rihanna was onstage doing literally nothing, aside from wearing a sweet-ass feather/ corset outfit and fi-erce shoes. Her hair* was doing this sideways swoop thing that was so awesome it distracted me from the fact that she has no outstanding talent. That matters not! I don't think that is Rihanna's purpose, actually. I just think she is like a really hot, life-like robot whose job is to wear amazing outfits and thinspire the masses.

Oh! Judging by her acceptance speech, she and Jay-Z have totally bumped uglies. I wonder what Beyaki thinks about this.

* !!! I am deep in love with her new haircut. I have daydreams about it.

Posted by: Brittany

Photo: WireImage

Grammys 2008: Didn't Totally Suck!

Is it just me, or was last night the least boring Grammys of recent years? I missed the first ten minutes because I was on the phone with my parents (hey Mom and Dad!), so, uh, we won't be covering any of that, but look out for pictures and performance reviews throughout the day!


Oh, and I don't know who won or anything, but you can click here for that inconsequential information. Happy Monday!


Posted by: Brittany
Photo: http://www.grammys.com/