True Life: I'm Corny!

Recently it has come to my attention how this blog has caused others to perceieve me. At this point, I've been described by quite a few people, some friends, some not, as "cold," "dead inside," "caustic," "mean," and, oddly enough "mistrustful."

Now, normally, I'd be the type to not care very much. The kind of person who eats baby carrots out of a sandwich bag while walking down the street with her hood up is not really in any position to give a shit. Okay, and I did make fun of Imon twice during the Oscars broadcast for "Aw"-ing at that singing couple from Once. But this time, my character is (kind of/ sort of) at stake, so I have decided to set the record straight.

I'm corny. A cornball. Wack as fuck. Not remotely cool in any way, shape, or form. Beneath my cold, hard, poreless, gorgeous exterior beats a heart made of pink marshmallow.

I have crap taste in movies; particularly musicals and shitty-to-middling rom-coms. If I could, I would probably watch High School Musical and Prime every day. Multiple times! Sure, I've probably told you at some point that, like, Goodfellas was my favorite movie (actually, it kind of is), with all its gunplay and cocaine bingeing, but I was pretty much lying. In fact, I have two separate "favorite movie" lists; a real one, topped by Something New and The Wiz, and a fake one, full of pictures that I like, but are also acceptable for a "film student" to name. Best of all? I cry, almost every time I go to the movies. Seriously. Tears. Down my face.

I fall asleep at parties. There is photographic proof, and no, you cannot see it. I watch Gossip Girl in a non-ironic way. I will buy any magazine with Shia LaBeouf on the cover. I gave my mother the J. Holliday CD for Christmas last year, not because she asked for it, but so that I could sing along to "Bed" while driving around in her car. I love all the music that comes on the Disney Channel. I have two Hannah Montana songs in my iTunes and I'm listening to Aly & AJ's "Potential Breakup Song" as I type this. I can't help it! I think it's good!

Nonetheless, here is a sliver of my humanity, for you to examine at your will. The truth is out now: I am a living, breathing, warm-blooded, feeling human being. I think fat babies are cute and my bedroom is pink and I talk to my parents every day. Mock me, make fun, laugh about me with your only friend; I don't care. I'm done pretending.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to run if I expect to make it to the noon showing of Penelope.

Posted by: Brittany

Image: Disney